why does it have to end up like this, always.

do we not have another choice. why does it always have to be bitter. please tell me there is some other way. tell me i am not a bad person. tell me for once, give me that one last chance to prove that, i too can.

why is everything working against me. everything i do or say. nothing works for me. am i cursed?

i pray before this cellphone hoping you would call. will you?

before i turn all bitter and into a negative person. before i am lost beyond recovery, before i am ruined beyond repair. call me, will you.

wish you hadn't said some things you said, but you did, and my world went still for a moment and it disintegrated by itself. undo it all, tell me it was a joke, or just something you meant, but you are not sure you should have vocalized it. tell me something, pacify me. give me a false heaven. give me something to hold on to.

i too wish i was kinder, gentler, nicer, cooler, accommodating. i slapped myself some 10 times, only to find that i am numb from the living. thought a few good slaps could help.
am goin to go shoppin or something. retail therapy. cuz i'm goin crazy. let me see if i can distract my mind. hope i wont get lost. pray for me-seriously.

mm the prophets

The Jane Austen Book Club

the first thing that caught my attention was the title.
this is a delightful and refreshing drama, and yes it's got a good script and a bunch of actors who really can act. the opening montage was cool, had little to do with the movie as such but that was enough to give me confidence to make me throw away the remote control and sit back and decide to watch the movie without suspecting if i'd need to fastforward.

 great job by the director. i'm not sure i know enough about jane austen or her novels. i sure have read 'pride and prejudice' and 'sense and sensibility' and loved the complex characters and the drama. but i never studied them so much or re-read them. maybe i should. i know if i can read just the first page --like daniel in the movie--someone read it out to me please, then i'd be motivated enough to read the rest.

watch it, u know anything that has anything to do with jane austen comes with a guarantee. the movie is quite predictable, but has predictability really ever taken away the excitement from life and movies?

these days i find predictability extremely satisfying!

Tapestry - Carole King
(yes read the wiki links)
what a great singer-composer-songwriter can do.

Talking In Bed
     
Talking in bed ought to be easiest,
Lying together there goes back so far,
An emblem of two people being honest.
Yet more and more time passes silently.
Outside, the wind's incomplete unrest
Builds and disperses clouds in the sky,
And dark towns heap up on the horizon.
None of this cares for us. Nothing shows why
At this unique distance from isolation
It becomes still more difficult to find
Words at once true and kind,
Or not untrue and not unkind.

Philip Larkin


it becomes still more difficult to find words at once true and kind, or not untrue and not unkind. :o

You fooled them, Chief. You fooled them. You fooled them all! Goddamn you!

 .

extraordinary, intriguing, and beautiful. that's how i'd describe the soundtrack of this movie.
that's some innovative magic with sounds of cello, piano, and the sound of a typewriter, excellent work mr. dario marianelli!

moreover this score really understands it's purpose, and delivers what it is supposed to in the movie.

maybe i should try watchin the movie in mute, to see how it works without the music. it still should work, it must be every film director's dream to get such awesome and original score.

Brendon McCullum 158 notout in Twenty20!! mmmmm..dude!!

unforgiving.

turtles, yes sometimes tmmmmmmmm

feel-good history

dona paula in the early 80s. screenshot from the movie ek duuje ke liye (1981)

Goa Dona Paula is very famous for two things: an enticing spooky past and the water sports at the beach.

The enticing (but not true ok?) story is about a girl named Dona Paula de Menzes, after whom the Goa beach has been named. She was the daughter of a viceroy in colonial India, who threw herself off the cliff, when refused permission to marry a local fisherman, Gaspar Dias. The myth says that Dona Paula is entombed in the Cabo Chapel of the Raj Bhawan and is supposed to be seen emerging from the moonlit waves wearing only a pearl necklace.

highly reccomended

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.
 - Don McLean, Vincent (Starry Starry Night)

Vincent Van Gogh painted his ‘Starry Night’ in 1889 while in an Asylum at Saint-Remy.
Vince’s painting has affected millions. It is one of the best known images in modern culture.

Don McLean wrote Vincent in 1971 after reading a book about the life of artist Vincent Van Gogh. In the 1970s, the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam played the song daily and a copy of the sheet music, together with a set of Van Gogh's paint brushes, is buried in a time capsule beneath the museum.

This post is a tribute to this lovely song.

( lyrics )

                  
stupid stupid pigeons.

just as i got ready to go out from home a pigeon flew in the next room, hit the fan and dropped down bleeding and it died.

it was moving slightly and i stepped forward, saw blood coming out, then it went still.

i knew this pigeon, it was a frequent visitor, and didnt like it really, used to shoo it away, make faces at it, try to scare it away. just the last day it was on the window pane and i was like boo! it didnt budge, kept staring at me instead. was so close, could've touched it or shook hands with it. it was so intimidating that i acted like my intention was not to shoo it away. ha!

and now he/she is dead.

it's so strange that this reminds me how i mess with other people's minds so much and only after they are dead or gone, i realize how different i could have had been with them.

4 months 3 weeks and 2 days

                                                                                                                                      photo © athiran, 2008

my niece meghna

Well morning comes and you're still with her
And the bus and the tourists are gone
And you've thrown away your choice and lost your ticket
So you have to stay on
But the drumbeat strains of the night remain
In the rhythm of the new-born day

Longing, we say, because desire is full of endless distances.

                            - Robert Haas, Meditations at Lagunitas.